You grow up, develop Ur own identity, live through it, identity doesn't come in a single day. Like a tree it grows on you slowly, evolves, changing through different climates, struggling through seasons. We try changing our own identity. Live through it, take inspirations, emulate them. Each Year goes by...
Come this August 2008, I will be completing 25 years. Each year has been unique in its own way. Never have I tried to put forth what happened the year before. Anyway since I was running out of a blog topic, I took up this. This is my Odyssey of 2007. It wasn't an adventurous voyage but it had all the nub of it.
If I have to prioritize on activities/things in 2007, well it will be this - " I got into a maximum number of acquaintance with people, umpteen number of friends,I got very close into. Partners in crime, Wild Wild West Friends, Surya-Deva Friend type, Agninachathiram types, anbe sivam kinds ... lots and lots, new friends become closer and closer , people of different ages, the fellows I knew closer,nathari pasanga each one is in one different corner now, though there were away from my day to day reach, we knew that the bonding always grow stronger." This has to be it. This tops the list. Rest follows....
This is one year, where I really wanted to dig all those lost passions of mine and revive themselves up, but I didn't want to force myself though, wanted to test myself whether I still have some left inside me. Pass :)
Long Long ago, so long ago, when I was below 10, my father asked me to learn flute. I am not sure what was in my mind. I replied back "Karnatic music, NO WAY, and that too flute, who will keep that in mouth, it looks pain-full,, bye bye I am going to play outside ". Period. If only my father insisted me that day,things would have been different. Whenever I switch on TV channel, I see very small children singingsa sa pa ga , it was all Greek and Latin for me, and I thought they are some weird kids from alien world ... 'what the heck was that all about' and said a big NO to my father. However as the years went by, though I had an aversion towards learning music, hearing them to my ears was something different. Years passed by, now I have 2 guitars with me, though I don't know to play them both :D, I got the affinity towards learning or playing music. And the affinity towards them happened in the year 2007 and result - Music Grade 1 Theory 99% :D. I know its just theory, but still. I had to discontinue my classes since I had to travel officially, once I am back to my place, I will again go and bang Mr.Suresh's door. ( Well he was my guitar teacher btw )
My father then said, so what other activities you want to get into, I was always fond of drawing things on walls, but fearing my mom's scoldings I stopped drawing in our living room, but terrace and the stairs which lead to it, were of courserHouser Full with my show. I said I want to learn drawing, painting etc etc, he then hooked me onto some drawing class, it was damn interesting but I am not able to recollect as to exactly what happened that I left them after some time of time. The interest came back again when i started reading Calvin and Hobbes in office to kill time, and more when I started drawing Calvin's on my desk, andYeh Dil Mange More... I went and bought a book and now it is loaded with sketches :D
One fine day when I was in college during my 5th semesters, I came back from college and I was very tired that I slept, I woke up at around 7 PM and I was haunted with a very bad headache, I didn't give much importance to it, took some medicines and slept through the night, the next day I had to skip college,coz it got worse, and it had to stay on top of me the full day, I couldn't help myself but stay put with it, came the next morning sun still the situation hasn't improved any further, I decided to meet a doctor, he gave me some pain killers and the evening was lot better, as far as I can remember this is how it all started. And this so called friend of mine stayed with me for Damn 6 years troubling me Read here. All of a sudden, it took me some time to realise that the head ache wasn't troubling me no more. In fact, I never realised that the ache is actually gone, since it almost became a part and parcel of my life, after some point I gave a damn about it, I learned to live through it. But then the past 3 months or so, I should say its Gone,Poyindii...I knew how much I have troubled my friends coz of my headache,visited multiple doctors in multiple cities all giving me the same weird answer " You are as good as me, wheres the problem ??? " Hear it everybody, you all Read it correct. Its gone.
4 Years back, when I went to trivandram for my cousins marriage, I was surrounded by floating numbers on screen with all those green and red arrows pointing no where and add to this surrounded by 4 of my family members talking about all those screwed up numbers. That time I was keeping myself mum and a year passed, All i did was to subscribe to Economic times instead of Indian Express, starting to earn money,I wanted to figure it out how to spend it or play with it. continuous subscription to various financial services, daily trades, I was literally playing with money, seeing them as mere numbers of-course no points/gifts for guessing, I ended up losing money. It took me some time to mature out of these things, it was fancy initially to me, then as time passed, I slowly started to stop all those financial destruction's when it comes to stock markets. For the first time, I stopped trading and started to invest this year and looked upon Warren Buffet Principles. Trying to mature myself as an investor. As I am writing this, Indian markets are witnessing its biggest fall ever in Indian History :P
This is that year where I saw Zillion movies, not considering genres not considering the opinion, hit or bad,I just saw them all, reasons varying from to kill time, pass time, Forget time. Folks said that I am wasting time like I have 48 hours a day, yes I did, I agree but then I didn't find anything better to while away what I was going through. But then in the course of time I say, there are some films which are worth watching. 'Worth every second of the frame'.We learn through experiences, not everybody is blessed with tested times to prove himself. Some films can give you those visually, they can give you hope. It all started with me wanting to finish the IMDB top 250 list, I am not even half way through it :))
This section is a tag follow up - Photography from Maruthu - though I am no adept in it. LOL, others around me might say I am more interested in front of a camera posing rather than taking them. Whatever, behind or front, I have always liked it. This interest got into me when there was a weekly article in the Tamil dailyDinaMani every Sunday on how to take photos, the article comes every Sunday and I read every one of that, this I am saying some 10 years back, though I understood nothing out of it, but I still read every line of it. Back then, I didn't have a camera and the statusquo remainded till last year, when all of a sudden my friend have this digi cam :D Okka Mokka, anniki aramichathu.. I haven't stopped till date clicking. Yes I did open a flickr account like anybody else though it might not have pics to open ur eyes wide, well I always look back to these photos as the ones that I experimented with all those options in that camera. This is the flickr account link btw. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaganrules .And Maruthu, none of my friends are into photography other than you, so hence this will be an open tag from my end, lucky if someone picks it up. The camera that I was presented with was Cannon Power shot IS and given to me by :) Chandru :D My Fav Photo is this though I didn't click this.
Cooking.. Potato Evalo Poke Pannanum LOL ,but now I know how much should I. It all started with that experience of mine and today if left alone, I cant cook a great tasty meal and I cant cook for the next room person as well, but sure I can cook to survive myself and make my stomach full with something in the kitchen. All these years my mother has lot many times tried to pull me into the kitchen, apart from to take the money under the sheets that she has kept, I have never entered into it not even to eat. Food comes into my bed. Times have changed.Atlast ennaiyum arasaiyal vathi aakitanga. I too learned cooking. :D
Last but not the least, I have to wait one year to travel. On site this is every software engineer dream. It was a dream for folks in general, now it has evolved as a demand. Every body demands to goonsite and so did I. And for this I have to wait 11 months. And now here I am, stuck in a place not knowing what to do, how to do, when to do, where to go. But after coming here from my friend I learnt one vital point. Time is Finite.Kasu Enniki Pona Nalaiku Varum. aana Time Pona Varathu. Time Lost is time Lost, hence do things which you want to do and love to do. At 70 years, at death bed, we shouldn't feel cha we should have done that.
This is my 124th post, would have been if this is coincidentally 125. watever, I never imagined that I will be able to blog for 3 years.
So Katha Appadi Mudiyuthu, there are some minor and also major things that I have skipped here. Like in a exam, we are sometimes left with no choice but to skip those difficult problems, those multiple choice questions, we just try our luck but it end up turning negative. But still we sometimes end getting 85 percentile, we never aimed for 100% and nor we make an attempt to fail purposely, we give our best, when we expect somewhere in 60's, the teacherssurprises us with 85-90. So was the year 2007 was to me. There were difficult moments, there were things which I think I shouldn't have given an attempt, but overall if one asks me, 2007 just rocked.
Life is a Bliss.
The Year that was - 2007 - Saturday, January 19, 2008 -
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You wake up at Seatac, SFO, LAX. You wake up at O'Hare, Dallas-Fort Worth, BWI. Pacific, mountain, central. Lose an hour, gain an hour. This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. You wake up at Air Harbor International. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? We're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. |
I want to go out to a top of a building and shout like everybody hears me loud, and the entire world staring at me what’s this kid upto?It’s been sometimes I messed up things around me. I have been in situation where I had no choice but to get screwed up and I do let it happen and get screwed. Like they dance like no one watching, I have done things like write like no one reading, work like no one paying me, live like there is no tomorrow, love like no body cares...
25th Hour. - Tuesday, January 08, 2008 - Tony in 24 Season talks about Jack, commenting that some people are more comfortable in stress, well I am definitely not comfortable at stress but I really want to be in a pressured time, I am totally bored with having all the time in the world,if not this post wont be coming up right now. I want to do the 25th hour thing in the 24th hour rather than having all 24 hours before me. I want to fight, I want to hit someone in the eye so that it black out him, of all of the testimonials that i had in orkut, if I am asked to pick the one that I like, this will be it... “Closest of friends… and this testi is not any praise for this guy, but just a moment in our fun filled lives.. only once in his life would he have fought with someone and I was lucky to be there at the moment to witness it… his fight with butty was so physical, brutal and also cool… and the few around knew that this wont last long, we just witnessed it and did nothing to stop… surprisingly ponam won comfortably in the end… and to nobody’s surprise, it took only seven minutes before all of us went for a beer with two guys having scars and pain through them… and don’t even bother to ask why there was a fight on the first hand… its difficult to understand.." The above was said about me by Billy, one of the closest buddies since college. Inspired from Fight Club “After you fight, the entire volume comes down and you could face almost anything in life.” I want to do it again... I want to fight until the other person says I QUIT or I say I quit. Tyler Durden asks “If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?” Well Frankly I don’t know how to answer that, has anything I have done made my life better? “Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned” When I wrote the above post, nothing was saved, not even time, it was a total crap waste of time. But then nothing mattered. All that matters how you feel end of day, were you happy doing it. That's what matters, nothign else, absolutely NOTHING ELSE. Some time back I was totally screwed up, I will always have pile of things above me, not knowing which to pick up, ever pre occupied, I was the so called busy professional .. Screw everything, screw people writing code in java and getting null pointer exception,everybody who scrap in orkut, scrapping strangers Do I know you, hey can we be friends,I saw you at my cousins weddding,Do you remember me screw them all,that ting ting sound which comes in gtalk, people who are trying to multiply coins in Wall Street, looking all those god damn charts making nothing out of it, who waste time watching movies 25/7, everybody who posts blog and more of all everybody who reads those posts, , people who reply to all the thread mails in the world, those who are giving project deployments, those who test the products, those who leave a voice message - 'Hey Man,giveee me aa call.. phone eduka mudiyatho.. sir romba busyooo", those who are planning for the next long weekend, all holidays in the calendar, those who trying to learn something new, those who stay all night and work and still get no appreciation for it. , those who learn guitar playing till their fingers bleed, those who draw cartoons, those who want to travel places, those to buy groceries in that deparment store out that and trying to woo the sales girls there , those who snooze their alarm clocks every morning and never getting up at the time they set alarm on, those who read newspapers everyday reading every line making no matter out of it, those who are reading this right now, don’t you have anything better in your life to do, all, all, all of them No Not all, Screw Me I had it all, and I threw it away, you dumb! Bhooma Devi vaya thoraka pora, namma ellorum ulla poga porom (this I heard in a bus stop, a fellow was shouting this and going, I was like: O) I’ll run. Keep running. I will run to middle of nowhere, take that road as far as it takes me to a different world. . Nothin' at all for miles around. Nothin' bu blue sky. Not a soul in sight. No sirens. No car alarms. Only silence out there, I will find peace. I will find GOD. It all came so close to never happening. This life came so close to never happening. Yappa oru one hour time pass aachu.. it was good writing something totally irrelevant and being violent :P, I liked it. Watch 25th Hour. Period. Labels: Movies |
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